I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
