Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
