quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
