butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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