Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
areolas are like halos for boobs.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
