i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So many bounce houses so little time
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize