i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
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