I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
