I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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