Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
