I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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