I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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