guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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