This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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