Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
