It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize