So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
