this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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