You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
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