best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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