And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
