You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
