How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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