So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
