He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I party with great urgency now.
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