Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
