he shaved USA in his pubs
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
