You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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