I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
