Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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