Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
