another moral hangover. fuck.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
