Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
