you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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