I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
