I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
