weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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