Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize