So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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