His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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