I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Randomize
