My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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