i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
