wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
