just come out here and I will go home with you...
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
