can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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