Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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