i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
whose parrot is this?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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