Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
