Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
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