Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm getting married
To pizza
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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