wat bout pragnant strippers??
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
