He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
