What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
