EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
