Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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