He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Randomize
