I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
