He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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