Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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